Ask Divorce Lawyers in Vaughan, Ontario: How Do We Handle Summer Vacations and Parenting Time?
Our Sutherland Law divorce lawyers in Vaughan, Ontario get asked a lot of questions about how to navigate summer vacations. As children, we look forward to summer vacations – we can’t wait to get out of school, to relax, have fun with our friends, go to a cottage or camp.
For divorced parents, however, summer vacations can be sources of endless conflict. Likely both parents want the best for their children, however they may disagree on what is best and how to approach it. If you want a conflict-free (or at least conflict-reduced) summertime, you’ll have to do two things: plan ahead and communicate.
Are Summer Vacations Covered in Your Parenting Agreement?
When you created your parenting agreement, you may have included guidelines for summer vacations, and how you will pay for summer activities. If you haven’t, you may want to reach out to divorce lawyers in Vaughan, Ontario to update your agreement…and how you make decisions regarding summertime plans.
The challenge is that summer plans can be spontaneous and often very fluid. And you may not want to spoil a child’s fun by sticking too rigidly to a constructed plan. It also becomes difficult if one parent becomes seen as the “fun parent,” while the other is always spoiling the party.
So, what can you do to find a little balance?
Plan Ahead
Know when summer vacations begin and end. Be clear on the costs and scheduling of planned activities like day camps and summer camp. You can use tools like a Google calendar to make sure dates are clearly shared.
Include older children and teens in the plan. Find out what they want to do and divide up the work – and the fun! This can not only reduce any vacation conflict, it can reassure your children that both parents still support them, AND that despite your separation, you remain a united front on parenting.
Communicate Effectively
Communication can be difficult for many divorced parents. Stick to your established communication plan (email, meetings, texting – whatever you have chosen), and communicate clearly and effectively as you can. If you have joint custody, you likely have a regular communications system you can leverage to plan your summer days.
Be Careful of Making Big Promises
Avoid making big promises before talking to the other parent, especially if it involves any adjustments to the parenting plan. Spontaneous plans can be the best plans. You may get last-minute tickets to a baseball game or the opportunity to spend time at a friend’s cottage, and want to share that time with your children.
Talk to the other parent before mentioning anything to your child, especially if those plans will disrupt your established parenting arrangement. If you don’t, one of you will end up looking like the “bad guy”. If you don’t both agree on the activity, don’t mention it to your child – it will only spoil their day.
Don’t Make It a Competition
This is a big one a family attorney in Ontario sees. One – or both – parents try to make sure their kids have “more fun” when they’re with them than the other parent. In the end, this only creates stress for you, for your children, and probably for your budget.
In your parenting agreement, or when you make your summer plans, consider limiting the number of “big ticket” activities you’re offering to your children, and try to ensure there is balance between the two of you.
Celebrate Your “Me Time”
As a divorced parent, it’s easy to slip into loneliness and miss the excitement of having the kids around. When you have free time, celebrate! Make plans to go out with friends, enjoy a massage, catch up on that Netflix series or hit the links.
You don’t have a lot of downtime, so enjoy it when you can!
Avoid Over-Planning
Summer activities can be so fun, but you know what happens to a child when you over plan. They get exhausted, burnt-out and, well, sometimes a lot less fun to be around. Remember, they’ve just finished a busy school year, and they need downtime just like you!
Make sure there’s some “veg time” built into your plans – both you and your kids will appreciate it!
Looking For Divorce Lawyers in Vaughan, Ontario?
When you need divorce lawyers in Vaughan, Ontario, look no further than Sutherland Law. Whether you need help negotiating family disputes, assistance in drafting a parenting agreement, or an attorney to handle your separate or divorce, we’re here to help. Our family law team has experience in all areas of family law practice, including child support, parenting agreements, divorce agreements, and separation agreements. Contact Sutherland Law today to talk to one of our experienced family law experts.
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